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a
saturday in a coffee shop is top tier. my niece (she’s 27) came over super early and organized my closet. she has a gift for decluttering and worked pure magic. i then lounged a large part of the day and then picked all my shit up and headed to a coffee shop and here i…
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i
think i’m back bby or i’m definitely on my way back. but first a quick father update: he has been discharged from inpatient rehab where he received his recovery therapies seven days a week. this was not an easy transition by any means for a seventy-year old mexican male who is terrified of anything resembling a…
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these
last few days have been a lot. my head is SWIRLING with all sorts of thoughts. my father is in the hospital. he’s been having these tiny little strokes over the last 5 months. so far we’re on our fourth stroke still with an unknown cause. it’s hard being in the medical field and not…
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thoughts
from me, again. does anyone else have days where emotions hit like really hard? like kind of a sucker punch to the gut and kind of a sadness pang hurts right in the middle of your heart and makes your body super heavy and that sting in your nose starts before both your eyes start…
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on
the topic of alcohol and my current confusing relationship with it. and this comes after a night out. we went out saturday night and i did drink less than i normally do so pat myself on the back there but we did stay out until two am. i started with a water which was new…
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run
away from this chaotic life – the phrase i have been swirling around in my brain for the last two weeks. i’m currently still trying to learn how to balance everything but i have had some epiphanies. i had a pcp appointment and when asked “do you drink?” i said “yeah, i’m going to be…
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my
life is in chaos. CHAOS. and i think it always has been and maybe i have managed it in the past but right now, at this moment it is too much. i need a routine. i need order. i need consistency so here i am writing about it. i have no insight whatsoever as to…
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and
just like that i write nothing for almost three months. but i think what matters is hi, i’m here. i’m back. a lot has happened. i am thirty-three now! it was the best time of dancing and drinking with some of my favorites. i backpacked and camped in a rugged manner. it was rough but…
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me
sitting in a coffee shop writing is all my younger self has ever wanted to do and be and as i do those things i try to remember this and my younger self just hug squeezes it all so tight like “hiiii i am so glad to be here and see you and be you. …
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is
this my fifth blog post or what?? look at me. anyways this one goes out to deeeeeenial, you are so important to me because you really stop the feelings from happening. and when the feelings don’t happen, i’m fine. just fine. no tears, no sadness. sure, from time to time there is some unexpected misunderstood…
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soliloquies in written form 