hi

it’s saturday. i have drank too much and now have a saturday with repercussions that i have to force myself to be kind to myself and remind myself that it is saturday and there is a chance for redemption. i enjoy drinking but just seem to have returned to a bit of an overdoing state and i hate that. and i constantly have to remind myself that i am doing better. i am more aware of the things i hate which is very much my overdoing it which leads to a shitty day the next day and honestly i hate feeling shitty on a saturday. i may be putting the alcohol to rest again for a bit. i also feel that me drinking while in the recovery from my depression was not the best idea. i’m okay but i just think i was doing really well with the alcohol for a bit but also was not in full depression mode and potentially i am overdoing it somehow in this subconscious way status post depression and maybe of course some is still lingering so we’re going to figure that out completely first and foremost. and obviously my brain works a lot better without the lingering effects of alcohol. so we are back on a full wellness journey. we have a sober football game tonight and plans for a morning walk tomorrow and that is that. as far as talking about my time with depression, give me a week to clear my brain from this alcohol so i can find the words. have a lovely saturday and don’t be afraid to let go of the things that don’t serve us even when it feels really hard to let go and be kind to yourselves. we’re just humans doing the best we can. 

l, js