is

this my fifth blog post or what??  look at me.  anyways this one goes out to deeeeeenial, you are so important to me because you really stop the feelings from happening.  and when the feelings don’t happen, i’m fine.  just fine.  no tears, no sadness.  sure, from time to time there is some unexpected misunderstood instability that ruins me from time to time but even then, my sweet denial keeps me oblivious as to how it all is rather unsustainable & it’s all fine.  where as when you’re  sitting in therapy, ugly crying with snot running down your face because denial is no longer there because you have been processing all these things and facing them head on which is good too and will have better long term solutions but you know right now, i just really miss you denial.  i’ll see you on my next unhealthy venture (even if it is short-lived in my future healthy mental state).  

l, js